ONCE UPON A ONE SIDED LOVE

      

  I remember looking at you for the first time. I just had this sudden need to get close to you – why?  I didn't seem to know myself, i didn’t understand what it was that I was feeling and I needed to find out; getting to know you back then in 2005 was a thrill. I just hope, I really just hope.

         You were everything I wanted, that cute smile, warm eyes and carefree lifestyle, all of these was what I wanted. I won’t deny I was sold. I fell in love with you instantly in that moment and I haven’t fallen out of love with you ever since. In 2006 I got a sense of my feelings being only one sided and decided to see you as a friend. I would make fun of you; play hand wrestle games with you trying to see if I could be able to see you as a pal. I even began to shift my attention towards your closest friend, it was funny because I did this to actually get you jealous but I never saw it in your eyes. With sadness in my heart I actually started to like this friend but it didn't last, now that I think about it, it was probably because I never truly could forget you. I kept on watching from the sidelines and being myself all through it all hoping that one day you’d recognize me and maybe like me back or something. I dated two other hottest within our sophomore year at junior high. It was complicated but not so complicated at the same time.

      It is funny because anyhow I look at it you treated me like crap and I always came back to your side. Not because I was so much blinded by my love for you – it was because I was infatuated by how mysterious and quiet you seemed and I was more than determined to break that silence that existed between the both of us. I remember the day you asked me what I didn’t like in a guy and what I did like. One of the points I remember telling you and afterwards seeing you  smile was when I told you that I didn’t like guys who sagged down their trousers – you gave that look which read that you were not the type of guy to do that either. I loved the fact that you could be romantic and cold and cute before being so annoying, it was something I was willing to see for a very long time.

      I would still keep waiting for your love for me to manifest itself, I believe so much in what we have and what it is we are building.