ANOTHER FAILED RELATIONSHIP

I thought this love story was going to be different, I thought the reign of my terrible relationships were finally over, but then again, I thought wrong; this is a tale of another failed relationship.

          I was in my third year of study at the Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU) where I read Mass communication; I had made up my mind to stop being more than friends with any guy that crossed my path (since my ex who had recently left Nigeria to the UK and I had broken up because I couldn’t stand the fact that he had cheated on me) I was confident that I could hold my fence high and strong enough; making it impossible for any type of guy with whatever charm he had to break (this was what I thought but oh how hard it would turn out to be)

Towards the end of the first semester of my third year, one of my very close male friend Yemi sent my BBM pin to one of his friends Ola without my consent (I was furious) I was only told about this development after the transaction had occured.  I was pissed but I still anticipated Ola buzzing me; Ola wasted no time in hitting me up; by evening we had clicked – it was as if we had known each other for years. We finally moved from chatting to calling and from calling to having our first official meeting, normally I could be quite lazy to go out but since we were in the same school I thought; why not. All that was on my mind at this point was “Let me use him to kill boredom jare,” plus I was thinking he would make for the perfect rebound guy (I am no virgin and sometimes no matter how hard you try body no be firewood) I knew what I wanted and I also wanted to avoid getting hurt so I tried hard to not put effort into getting to know his person. As days turned into weeks and weeks into months; slowly but unintentionally I had begun to like this guy (I knew I was in trouble at this point – I was basically jumping from the frying pan to the pan but it didn’t matter to me – I actually didn’t care, I was ready) Soon enough Ola made his intentions known and asked me out – I foolishly said yes (I really thought I had found true love).

          Ola and I began dating on the 15^th of September 2013. (Oh! I forgot to mention Ola was in his final year, and by this time, he was getting ready for the compulsory National Youth Service Corps; a compulsory one year service to Nigeria that every young graduate was expected to undergo before being fully considered independent. Ola went to camp and got back, by this time I was in my final year. Some months had passed since we started dating and already Ola had started acting strange – unlike most girls who would confront their boyfriends or pry into his personal life; I didn’t complain, neither did I go through his phone because I gave out trust once I gave out my heart and unfortunately for me I had gotten way too deep into this to have a plan B on how to escape before things came crashing down.

And it got worse, he stopped calling me and would frame excuses when I suggested us meeting; this hurt me – I couldn’t keep it in anymore so I told my close friend Anu of the development (Anu never liked Ola) so she was even more upset with the fact that I had let a guy trample all over me again. She decided to take the bold step for a very love drugged me; she immediately sent his a text message with my phone asking him if he still wanted to be in the relationship. Almost immediately he called back and asked me to explain what I meant, with Anu by my side cheering me up silently I was able to muster courage to let him know what had been going on in my mind; he apologized and as usual came up with some more excuses as to why his actions remained that way. I was too much in love with him to listen to reason, I should have just left while I had the chance; sadly, I decided to forgive the twat and try to fix the dwindling rope running loose from our relationship.

           The relationship continued however; it was not smooth but it was a gradual process and we seemed to be picking up the crumbs. I saw that he had truly changed and on the 17^th of July, 2015 I lost my virginity to him (Many sleep with their men to keep them – I am not a part of that crowd; I decided it was time because it felt right to me) little did I know that my decision was going to back fire in my face. Ola suddenly went cold, like really cold – he was like a different person, I knew it then that our relationship had finally hit rock bottom and there was no way of saving the already sunken ship.

How would you feel when you lost your virginity to a guy you were so madly in love with and all of a sudden he just stopped contacting you and there was no way to reach him? Wouldn’t you go crazy? Wouldn’t you be mad? That’s how I felt when this happened. Now you see why I said this is just another sad tale of a bad relationship.

           Three months after the long silence from him, he called me, I didn’t even know he was the one calling (because boy bye); he said “Hi Tola, its Ola, how are you doing? It’s been a while” and my response was “Hi, am good, it has been a while”, he went further to say; “Ummmm Tola I am sorry I haven’t been able to reach you in a while, I just needed time out to think about what I needed in my life and what I didn’t need” (what a selfish bastard) anyways I replied “So, I am guessing you have thought it through; you know whether I am needed in your life or not, I think you realize that I am not right, that’s why you’re calling?” His response was “Haba Tola stop talking like this now, it is not how you think it is?” To cut the long story short, after this very awkward conversation, he never called again, and I was happy to be done with yet another poop in my life.